Thursday, June 19, 2008

"Glorified Gluttony."

It seems like whenever I witness a wonderful example of human expression, shortly after, I encounter an act reminding me of how disgustingly thoughtless we can be.

While watching the evening news, one of its stories was the coverage of a hot dog eating contest. Why this was considered a pivoting human interest story escapes me. These events have always disgusted me. How can an individual honestly consider gluttonous indulgence a sport? Or participate in some hole in the wall restaurant's offer of a free meal, and an out of focus Polaroid picture of themselves placed on a wall of shame, for devouring a dangerously excessive amount of food. This shameful lack of self-control is not an act that should be rewarded or proud of, especially with there being so many lacking proper nourishment.

And what really agitates me is knowing that these events are corporate sponsored for little or no financial responsibility to its participants. These companies do this for free advertisement to the cheering spectators - which truthfully remind me of history's blood crazed fans cheering the roman gladiator. There are times in which I question who is worse - the mindless spectator, the instigating corporate sponsor, or the gluttonous participant.

What's so twisted is there are actually guidelines for this despicable behavior:

Consult your physician before the contest and get their advice. Make sure that you aren't on medication that shouldn't be taken with food. Check with contest officials or request that EMTs and an ambulance be present in the event of choking or allergic reactions.
Eat before the contest. Starving oneself is unhealthy for the body, so eat light meals up until the contest.
Try to exercise regularly before the contest
Prior to the contest, consume as few liquids (water, soda, alcoholic beverages, etc.) as possible. This will only fill the stomach, creating less room for food.
A relatively astute individual would realize that an activity that might require a doctor or an ambulance might be uhmmmm - DANGEROUS! Just an opinion - a persons need for nourishment should not be considered immediately hazardous.

To win an eating contest you need to stretch your stomach to fit more food in it more easily. The best way to stretch your stomach is to eat lettuce. It is mostly water and takes more calories to digest than it carries, so all it really does is stretch the stomach. In time, it's possible to eat three to four heads of lettuce in one sitting.
Also, boiled cabbage is equally good. Many professionals often go on a three or four day diet of nothing but cabbage as the gases in cabbage expand the stomach.
There is also a little-known technique to make more room in the stomach. After eating, when you begin to feel slightly full, stand up and wiggle your hips from side to side for 5-10 seconds. This makes the food go down your esophagus faster and squashes it up in your stomach.
There is a saying, "one should eat to live, not live to eat." Because we have seemed to have forgotten this, society's health has declined. This reckless eating behavior has contributed to a 64% rise in obesity, statistically attributing to diabetes by 48% , with a 58% rise in hepatitis b.

When are we going to realize that the - all you can eat buffets, and the super sized meals, along with the 30 minutes or it's free deliveries, is playing a part in the deaths of 400,000 individuals each year. Maybe it's time we open our eyes more - instead of our mouths.

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